 After
being raised on the small island of Aixelsidia by a family of Mongolian
cobblers, Elizabeth was adopted by a wealthy couple who purchased her over
the internet as a result of the famous "Licensed Children" campaign run
by Microsoft and Napster. Her new family, Ethel and Buck Masterini, encouraged
their new daughter to express herself comedically, so much so that Elizabeth
conditioned herself to react and speak only when she could be humorous,
making her rather unhelpful during emergencies. After being unable to maintain
her composure during the "Servant's Fire" of 1989 at her family's estate,
Elizabeth was sent to work in the mines of The Winchester Preperatory Sketch
Academy until she was of matriculating age. During the day for 10 years,
Elizabeth listened to all the comedic genius being taught while she hid
in cabinents or outside open windows. At night, she would mentally write
sketches, and the sounds of her giggling could be heard echoing out of
the mining shaft and across the quad.
Elizabeth's first day as a true student at WPSA was almost her last. According to her guidance counselor, Ms. Fizel, and most of her professors, Elizabeth's humor was so advanced that her superiors were afraid of a revolt. However, the class embraced Elizabeth's cerebral differences, and petitioned for her allowance of a full term education. If it had not been for the extreme intelligence and understanding of her fellow classmates, Elizabeth would have been given a honorary diploma, and would have graduated from WPSA in less than 4 1/2 hours.
After changing her major
several times, Elizabeth finally settled on Theraputic Script Analysis,
and graduated with top honors from WPSA. She plans to teach at WPSA after
the tour.
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Shortly
thereafter during Christmas break of her freshman year, Elizabeth decided
to surprise her parents for the holidays. She returned home Christmas eve
to find a post-it on a bag of marzipan on the front step of her parent's
mansion. It read, "Moved to Czechoslovakia. Good Luck". After